People think I'm strong but really, underneath this shell lies two very different personalities. Ever wondered why you could never figure me out? That's because you're not seeing the two personalities as being separate from each other. One of them is tough, bitter, disillusioned, swears, and doesn't want anything to do with insufferable bloody idiots; The other one is innocent, forever hopeful, idealistic, loves fairytales and looks forward to finding the perfect man. Both of them know that the perfect man is: 1) NOT an idiot. 2) Enjoys and appreciates their sense of humour. 3) Can handle her mood swings. 4) Able to keep up with her or, better yet, be one step ahead of her sometimes.

Ben_Romans Kellie Bao_Ling Agnes Pei_Shi Joakim Jayne Zine Lee_Peng Spelling June Xi_Xi Jessica Min_Shen Lippy Jun_Yin

How do I stop that feeling in my chest? The feeling that my heart is going to explode with all these negative emotions...
"And just as she thinks she can no longer take any of it anymore, a lone tear slides down her cheek. The feeling of that single tear making its way down her cheek was beautiful - exquisite pain that she could no longer deny. In truth, she had been suppressing her feelings for nearly a fortnight. She and her best friend seemed to be drifting apart so gradually that no one else seemed to notice it but her. It didn't feel good to see everyone else having fun while she was standing in the corner, even the normally quiet ones were having more fun than she was. She knew that her being so conscious about not having fun made it harder for her to have fun but for the moment, this was what she wanted; She just wanted to savour the feeling of slight heartbreak and keep it forever in memory. It was ungracious of her, she knew that but she also understood that she was a very possessing person. Her heart throbbed with countless mixed emotions that even she couldn't quite make out all of them. She didn't resent her best friend enjoying herself, she really didn't... but why couldn't the good things in her life be a little more constant and stay the way they were a little longer? Sobs racked her chest as if they were tearing her apart. Her face was now shiny from all the tears. No one knew or cared what she thought, or was that true? No, her best friend still cares. She just doesn't have the time to express her concerns and that's fine. She's moved on as well. They all have. Summer is beginning and it's precisely the best time to be out there partying and having the time of their lives. No one is going to be dragged down by an annoying and needy friend who demands so much attention. She wants to hear someone tell her that they will be there for her whenever she needs them. And then that message from another friend who's been close with her recently... "Silly girl... I'm always here for you, that's what I can do..." The one thing she'd been always secretly waiting for soneone to say to her has finally been said. The need to hear that was buried so deeply in some forgotten corner in her heart that she didn't even know that she was waiting for that one sentence. Perhaps it was easier to just pretend that she was never hurt and move on than to wear her heart on her sleeve for the world to see. Calm acceptance finally came to her. Her tears slowed and dried. She stood up and made a call to a girl friend," Hey, are those friends of yours going out tonight? Yeah? Are they going to that place? Ok, then count me in. There's no better time to party than now."