A taxi driver's tale
Sunday, May 27, 2007 x 4:37 PM
My "stories" of an encounter with a malay taxi driver a few days earlier seems to have met with pretty postive responses... so I think I'm going to write about him here. What most of you guys (who've already heard me tell the tale) don't know is, I left out some chunks of the tale which is also kind of hilarious (or frown-inducing, depending on your viewpoint). It all started in the morning....
It was a typical morning, no different than any other mornings, I bathed, ate, groomed, dressed, applied makeup and put on my shoes (in that order). Then I looked at the time -6.20AM- and contemplated," What time should I go out to wait for the bus today? Hmm, 6.40AM then."
So I sat down and waited idly for the time to pass.
Tick tock tick tock. 6.40AM.
Got up. Went out. Boarded the bus. At7.33AM, Caryl called and told me,"Uncle left already. We are now going past Angsana." SHIT. Should have came out earlier instead of sitting down and looking at the clock for twenty minutes. I alighted the bus at Tampoi and walked to the petrol station where I flagged down a cab. The taxi driver made a turn in exactly the opposite direction I was expecting. After a while...
he: Southern College ya?
me: Sunway College!
he: APA? SUNWAY COLLEGE?!
me: Yeah, Sunway College...
he: Ah moi, saya duduk Larkin...( for convenience's sake, I'll translate his words into English)... I thought you were going to Southern College that's why I told you to get in but now you tell me that you want to go to Sunway college? It's very far away from my house and my wife is waiting for me, you know...*blah blah blah*
me: (nodding my head and keeping mum)
he: If you want to go to Sunway College, the cab fare is RM20, plus two ringgit, it's RM22. Because Sunway College is very far away, you know.
me: HUH??!!! (mumble in chinese,"酱贵?!") Ah lah, ok lah...
he: If I had known earlier, I wouldn't have asked you to get in but now you're already in my taxi, I can't chase you out.
(You mean, you can't chase me out and figure out a good way to charge me for taking me deep into some malay village that we are going through now...)me: (nod grudgingly)
*Golden silence for some moments*
he: You are studying at Sunway College?
me: (In english) Sorry? I can't hear you properly. (His music was turned up too loud)
he: Ah moi, you cannot speak malay? How can you not know how to speak malay?
Didn't your teacher teach you malay in school?
me: I went to chinese schools, that's why I can't speak malay very well.
he: Cannot! In Malaysia, you must know how to speak malay! So big already still cannot speak malay?
me: (wearily) I went to chinese school...
( Who are you to question my ability of speaking malay? I speak more languages than you AND I speak better english than you so SHUT UP!)he: Never mind, you try to speak to me in malay. I am malay, I can correct you if you are wrong. In Malaysia, you can't always be speaking "bahasa orang putih". You have to know how to speak malay. How old are you, moi? How many years do you still have to study?
(Hello? "Bahasa orang putih"? Which century does this man live in? The 19th? And why all the questions?)me: (struggling in malay) I'm 18, after this year, I still have 4 years to go.
(And WHY am I indulging this ignorant being in his quest to brainwash me?)he: That means after you graduate, you work two more years... and then? You will be 24 already! So old! Now men like young women, they like them to be 20, 21. By the time you're 24, you will be expired already. Girls don't have to study so much.
( Chauvinist PIG. What old fashioned thinking you have, don't you know that nowadays people don't get married so early anymore? Or have you been too busy cooped up in your miniscule universe to notice?)me: (smile dutifully)
he: ( back to the topic of my inept malay) You study in Malaysia, you need to be able to speak in malay if not how to work when you graduate? Everyone is speaking malay but you're speaking english. Who can understand you? If you can speak malay, your salary will be higher a notch.
me: Yes...(nodding like he just bestowed me with valuable words of wisdom)(Why do I even bother? Most of what he's saying is bullshit and reveals his ignorance more with every word he utters. I think I feel sorry for him though. It's survival of the fittest these days and he, along with so many others like him, are going to be left behind. ) ...
...
(some conversation that included his wife and a cup of coffee and roti canai)
...
...
me: I have a friend whose friend has gotten married recently and she's one year younger than me.
he: See? People got married already and what are you doing? Girls should get married early. You should think of finding a good husband. The man doesn't have to be very handsome, just as long as he can provide for you.
(FYI, I don't need some man to provide for me, thank you very much! When I graduate, I'll be perfectly capable of feeding myself.)me: Yes...
he: Like Siti Nurhaliza... Do you know Siti Nurhaliza?
me: Yes.
(Yes, I know her but she's the ONLY malay artiste I know!)he: She's so pretty, even prettier than you. She is so young but she got married three times already! The third husband is so stupid. She's already 2nd-, 3rd-hand goods already. He's a datuk but he still married her. If she was to marry an ordinary person like me, then it's ok...( No one in their right mind would want to marry you, so I guess that's saying something about your wife...)me: Yes, she's very pretty.
he: Luckily you're chinese. Then I can tell my wife about you without any worries. It's different between chinese and malay and indian. If I had picked a malay girl instead of you, later I talk to her and then we laugh together and she falls in love with me and wants to marry me then how? With chinese girl , it won't happen.
me: (smiling) Yes.
( Are you kidding me? No young girl would fall for someone like you! Not even a young malay girl! Just look at yourself. This trip is getting really long... Luckily we're almost there.)he: Ah moi, when you graduate and you see me again, don't forget to treat me to to kopi and roti canai eh? I won't be able to remember you but you will remember me. You will do that, won't you?
me: Of course.(I wouldn't recognize you so stop flattering yourself.)he: Ah moi must study hard ok?me: (just nodding my head)Isn't that the weirdest person ever? What he said to me in the end was contradictory with his advice to me earlier - that girls didn't need high education. It was, all in all, a highly interesting 45 minutes and it opened my eyes to the ignorance that some people still harbor. Just because you are surrounded with intelligent and knowledgeable intellects, it doensn't mean that there aren't teeth-grindingly close-minded people out there. It just makes you more appreciative to those around you. And those who speak your language.
And you know what the most ironic thing is? After I walked into the campus, the first person to speak to me was Samirah and she spoke in English to me. I had the weirdest sensation when I replied! LOL
