People think I'm strong but really, underneath this shell lies two very different personalities. Ever wondered why you could never figure me out? That's because you're not seeing the two personalities as being separate from each other. One of them is tough, bitter, disillusioned, swears, and doesn't want anything to do with insufferable bloody idiots; The other one is innocent, forever hopeful, idealistic, loves fairytales and looks forward to finding the perfect man. Both of them know that the perfect man is: 1) NOT an idiot. 2) Enjoys and appreciates their sense of humour. 3) Can handle her mood swings. 4) Able to keep up with her or, better yet, be one step ahead of her sometimes.

Ben_Romans Kellie Bao_Ling Agnes Pei_Shi Joakim Jayne Zine Lee_Peng Spelling June Xi_Xi Jessica Min_Shen Lippy Jun_Yin

It's raining. Dad's been sleeping the whole day and I haven't talked to him since I got home in the afternoon. The sky overhead is a nondescript greyish white color, laden with invisible clouds that continue to rain down onto the ground. Rain drops drip down from the roof-top with a regular yet irregular rhythm. I feel a sudden urge to just take off into the streets and feel the rain on my body or go for a dip in a swimming pool. Despite the dangerous times, this is what I really yearn to do. Funnily, the weather doesn't feel dismal or depressing at all. Instead, it makes me feel a sense of release and inner calm. I know I really should relax and try to make the best of things. I always make things worse when I worry too much. I should really be concentrating on doing my revision instead of blogging the whole afternoon away but what the heck, this is I really want to be doing now. Been feeling a suppressed urge to pour out all my emotions, want to let everything go and just enjoy a good cry. What's stopping me? Nothing. Should I? I can't seem to be able to cry... Must be because of my rumbling tummy. I haven't eaten since 6.30am this morning. It's been 10 hours. And no, I'm not dieting; I just lost my appetite together with my heart. I've decided to go on a fruit, cereal and soya bean milk diet for a week, starting from next Monday. Maybe this will work to starve my heart back to where it truly belongs - in my chest cavity - instead of tailing around behind some stupid bunny.